How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
