There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
