im drinking this country out of the recession.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize