Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
