2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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