Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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