**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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