i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize