do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
