Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We need a shit load of segways right now
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
