the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
