life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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