So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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