The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
How naked do you want me to be?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
