yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
