would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
