A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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