Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
