i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
