i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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