so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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