24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
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