Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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