I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
