So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
