So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
