I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
