just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
