operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
