Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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