went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
