Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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