he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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