Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
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