Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude i'm inner monologue high
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
