Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
