My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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