as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
