Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
