You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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