That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
