i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
false alarm, still single
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
