I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
