I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
