Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
