So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
ok first of all what the fuck
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
