Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
