That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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