i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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