Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
