I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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