theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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