I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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