i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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