my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
