My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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