After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
