I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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