Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
