worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
