how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
