And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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