I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
