At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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