Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
