My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize