paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
