just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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