Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize