Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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