Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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