I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
