Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You may now shotgun with the bride
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
